September 5, 2011

Biting My Tongue




I don't want to always be single. But for some reason ( I am a little picky), that's how it's been for the last 2 years. I've had little affairs, but nothing more. Even if I was still in Spain, I can't say if I would be with Tona or not. I might, but then again, we only knew each other for 3 months. And out of those 3 months, I spent about 8 days with him. It felt like so much longer. The words, I love you, were on the tip of my tongue by the end. But, of course, I remained silent.

My hand. Cadaques, Spain. 

Maybe I should have said something, but honestly, I think it would have made departing even harder. I have to be realistic. I'm here and I have to make the best of things now. Even if I do want to live in Spain one day.


Me. Salvador Dali Museum. Figueres, Spain.


I'm sure one day, all the stars will align. One fucking day. Until then, I've made plans to move to Ft. Worth. I'll be living with my Tia. I'm looking forward to getting my shit together and getting setup to teach. Yep, teaching. When I subbed for the first time this year, I walked onto campus, and my first thought was, " I should have my own class, I should be doing this for real."
  Hopefully that will work out and hopefully Texas will be nice to me. 





5 comments:

Ian said...

I hope Texas is nice to you, too. At least you'll be close enough to potentially stalk again! ;D

Relationships are a bitch and a half to deal with. I was broken up with earlier this year, and just last week found out the truth of its ending from someone else. Be glad that you're picky. It keeps you from thinking you know someone when you really don't.

Tinapunk said...

Yeah, I think Texas will work out for the best.
It's true, being picky is a good thing. Single, no kids, at 25, isn't a bad thing. Instead, it means I'm smart and I have to remember that.

Goldarr said...

Question. Do you think you're passing the time with people who you may suspect aren't good for you because you're not ready for the ones who are because that could mean settling into something long term before you think you're ready?

Tinapunk said...

Maybe. But then again, no. I honestly feel that if someone came along who was right, then I would be totally down for a relationship. I just haven't found that person. Or maybe I have but the timing was off, or the location was off.
But, no, I'm totally ready.

Goldarr said...

So how do you know, for you, when the right person comes along? Do you think it'll be like a love at first sight situation or a slow realization? If you couldn't tell, this particular subject interests me. I could sit and read psychology blogs about this topic all day.