August 12, 2013

Jean Pockets

A poem begins with a lump in the throat.

Really, for me that's my best writing. When I'm sad and full of emotions. The Skin and I broke up. Fuck. We had this whirl-wind love affair. It was beautiful, the way it just happened. Once that haze wore off it was replaced by a bad aura. Our relationship ending, might also have to do with my discovery of a hotel receipt in his back jean pocket when I was doing him a favor by washing his clothes. 

Date: 8/4/2013 Check in: 11:30 p.m. Guests: 2  

Now, I can relay his story of why he needed this room in his home town, or I can just say that I'm no fool. 

 I know I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again, but: FUCK DATING. My standards are too high. My expectations are probably never going to be met. And I'm accepting it. And focusing on me. Getting my life to where I want it to be. 

 I'm going to move to Austin next year. Do what I wanted to do back in 2010 but was too afraid to. I don't know why I was afraid. Shit, after Honduras nothing scares me.  

July 19, 2013

It goes without saying that I never update this blog. Where I used to be so public about things, now I just try to keep my life to myself. Not that it's any less interesting, but because I lack motivation to put what I have to say down. Down here, down on paper, any where. 

I'm no longer talking to my sister, I'm trying to be more public about the loss of her friendship. It's been 3 months and some days are harder than others. Yeah, I talk about it like a death, because that's the way it feels. 

Our relationship slowly deteriorated after living with each other and then her starting a relationship where the guy didn't like me, which in turn made her not like me. She moved out a month before the lease was out. I heard from her once when she wanted me to co-sign on her electric. I said no, and that was the end. 

A couple months ago, I was deathly ill, my mother asked my sister to check on me and give me a ride to the ER. She said, no way, and hung up the phone. 

We're sisters. We have each other's birthdays tattooed on us. I should mention that I wasn't perfect in the least, there are regrets. 

I guess time will tell. Not to be morbid, but hopefully neither one of us dies before we talk to each other.



March 24, 2013

Since that how it starts, I try to change the destiny and change my decisions.
But it's too late. It's too late.

March 21, 2013

You're good in my bed

sex is not a goddamn performance. Sex should feel as natural as drinking water. It should not require confidence.
Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe. Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.
You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.” It’s about being happy.
One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.
What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you. Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.
Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be. I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.
I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want. It’s originality. It’s passion. It’s joy. Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.
I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.
“Good in bed,” what. You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you. Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel. This isn’t a test.

via Skywrtle

February 28, 2013


I was walking across the floor with one of my coworkers to finish a job. I looked across the elevators and there he was. Tall, dark and covered in tattoos. We locked eyes. Next thing I know I was giving him my number. I felt connected to him, I mean any guy who finds me attractive while I'm in my uniform is worth a shot.
This guy was the same age as the Drummer. (maybe I need to stay away from the old ones??) We started talking, and had one "date". Soon after he began texting super late and on odd weekdays.

Thursday 2:09 a.m.

K: Come over
Me: Nah, I'm good
K: So ur done
Me: I think we want different things
K: K

Once, again folks. I CAN NOT MAKE THIS UP. This is the dating world. This is whats out there. Grown ass men acting like pigs. I did not meet K in the bar, I wasn't drunk when I gave him my number. On our date, he barely got passed 1st base. I thought that since I met him organically things would be different. LOL.

Please come back for more horrific stories from the dating underworld.

Joder. No se nada el donde mi viva es. Ahora no se nada. Mi viva es muy complicado.

Me gusta mucho el uno senior. Pero, no se if hombre feels el mismo. Quizás, no.

February 19, 2013

My Jam

The only version of this beat;song that I support

February 4, 2013

Look at everything around you.
Don't second guess your exact thoughts at this moment.
Own them.
Own your thoughts.
Own your actions.
Move on.

January 19, 2013

January 16, 2013

Hot Wednesday

Hola Amigos

Man, I love Bey. She really does seem to have it all. Beyond Talented. Successful Businesswoman.  Wife. Mother. 

I've been meat/soda/jerk free for 16 days!! The jerk part is the only thing that's questionable. I feel that if I'm in charge and I know what cards are on the table it eliminates the fact that he's a certified douche. But, who am I kidding?
  It's impossible to let go of all bad habits. 

Enjoy the hot people

Lornalitz Báez

Peta Todd


~And just special for you~


January 1, 2013

So this is the new year and I don't feel any different

Another year. 2013. 

Lets us say adios to all the memories,

  • 3 new tattoos
  • Lived in Ft. Worth
  • Moved to back to my old stomping ground
  • Got my place
  • Started my highest paying job ever
  • Started Bartending 
  • Visited Honduras
  • Rode horseback around the Mayan Ruins
  • Stayed single, which is bitter sweet. 

I feel like I had a cooler year last year, but I suppose it's all perspective. 

Either way, 2013 aka another year of me being flawless.