April 24, 2014

OH hey I'm preggo

I'm going to be a single mother. I have to get used to those words.
This is something that I never wanted in life. No one wants to have a baby alone.
Unfortunately, I believed in his honesty and loyalty. I believed everything he told me. That he wanted me to be his wife. That he envisioned a future with me and his other children together.
I believed him when he said he loved me.
Of course, I should have known better. Been wiser. But his words were like sweet honey.

Everything changed when I found out I was with child.
His list of transgressions kept growing and growing. I ignored so much because I felt obligated to my baby to try and make it work.  At the end of it all, he was with his son's baby momma and lied about it. I found out and I direct messaged her to tell her I was pregnant and she said, "he said u lyin he right here" The conversation only got worse. He came home only to say, "I told you if you told her I would leave you."
I watched him pack his bags. Soon I received another message from the other mother and she said "he just got here, say he sorry and want to make things work" I didn't respond. Good riddance.

Getting out of an abusive relationship is like waking up from a coma. 

I am left with this growing baby inside me. It's nothing how I imagined, but I know I'm strong enough and brave enough to take care of this baby. I have to be. 


And no, abortion wasn't a choice for me. It's something the father wanted, even pressured me to do. But I knew if I did it, I would regret it for the rest of my life.