I looked cute for you tonight, but I didn't even see you....

I have a bruised ego. It's weird, its not even like I have great self-esteem or anything, but I know that I'm cute. At least fucking cute. I dress cute, and blah blah blah.

But why, OH dear god, why, do boys blow me off?

Is this just some sort of new thing that boys do? When you state "so I'll be off around midnight, is that too late" and i respond with "no, just hit me up when you get home"....then I finally hear from you around 1:30, saying "closing out my tab"....I just shake my head at you....

boys: girls like it when you stay somewhat close to the plan.. when you don't it makes us sad. that's it. its the truth. even when a girl acts like she doesn't care.....you blow her off enough, and she will start to care, then she will precede to slowly stop talking to you, because she assumes that you don't respect her enough.


its science. trust me.


Also there's this little fear of mine....




taken from postsecret


p.s. Its not that I'm totally into you or something, I'm just tired of fucking boys blowing me off....
.

Are you religious?

Really?
The other day, my aunt came up to visit me and like most, no...all of my family she is a christian. She asked me, "so what do you think about religion?" I said, "Do you really want to know?" She responded with "yes, be honest."

So I laid it out..... most if not all religion was created to control the masses. The kings in the middle ages used it to control the lower casts. This was to prevent the masses from uprising, or thinking for themselves. Thats pretty much what religion does, it thinks for you. It gives you your opinions. I could ask my mother any question, and she would want to look at the bible first before answering me. Huh, does that even make sense?
I thought the whole purpose of Christianity was free will.
Where is the free will, when your persecuted for not believing.
This is not just about Christianity this is about all religion. Religious fundamentalists are increasing in two of the most powerful and dangerous religions: Christianity and Islam.

We have got to stop pushing our beliefs among our children, and let them decide for themselves.
We do not need a religious war.

So, if you haven't seen Religulous, see it! But also, just think for yourself, and research!

Boys Boys and Boys

Why is there so much value placed on having a boyfriend? Really, what does it mean?
-companionship
-love
-someone to cuddle with
-sex

I really think that women need to re-evaluate the desire to have a boyfriend.
In the end, all relationships dissipate anyways.
What happens?
Life happens.

Feminism

(Note: I had saved this, and for some reason it lost the format that I had saved it with, so I tried to fix most of it, but when i publish it, it changes back to some other format...sorry!)


Christina Escamilla

May 12, 2009

Women's Studies

Final Paper- Feminism



What does Feminism mean to me? My own current definition of feminism is the idea that not

only are women equals in every sense of the word, but all humans are

equal as well. I think that Feminism means fighting for equality and destroying sexism.

Feminism to me, is going to a small town in India, and fighting for the rights of the

young children who are being sold into sex slavery. Feminism is going to a country in Africa and

teaching young girls about condoms. Feminism is whatever I want it to be. In the video we

watched in class where it asked a lot of different people what their idea of feminism was, that is

the reality of feminism, feminism can morph into many different definitions. The wikipedia

definition is: Feminism is the idea that women should have political, social, sexual, intellectual

and economic rights equal to those of men.

How the world views Feminism is very different depending on where you go.

In Arab countries, feminism can be a small thing, such as writing a book, or speaking out

against female circumcision. In "Understanding the other sister: The case of Arab feminism"

Susan Muaddi Darraj discusses the current state of feminism in most Arab countries.

One story she tells is of a writer, and a noted Arab feminist, where she received a lawsuit against her

demanding her and her husband get a divorce because of some comments

she made earlier. The Egyptian lawsuit was because the comments she had made in a earlier

interview were said to have been apostasy, which is the renunciation of

Islam. She fought this lawsuit, and was able to keep her thirty-seven year marriage. In Rwanda,

feminism is just beginning to bear its head in the community. After the 1994 genocide of millions,

and the rape of thousands of women, it left the country completely raw and bare. Many women

became the head of households after the massacre, and were forced to provide for their families.

The women have bonded together, not to fight for equal pay, or pregnancy leave, but for basic

human rights, which are often denied to people in third world countries. Not just third world

countries, but also countries were habits, like the treatment of women are embedded into the

daily lives of the people. Western feminists often forget that we have it good, to a certain

extent. Eastern women have so many advantages compared to the women in the rest of the world. We're

allowed to vote, we don't have to undergo female circumcision, we can go to school, etc. Those

are just the basics. These basics should be provided to every person.

The history of feminism started with what many would call the first wave. "The F word" by

Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner discusses the first wave in great detail. The women's suffrage

movement was the first push for equality for women, and this battle was fought long and hard.

In the movie "Iron Clawed Angles" it portrayed the fight for equality, a little over dramatic, but

it still showed the journey that many women had to take. The second wave of feminism began in

the 60's when women wanted to become more than just a stay at home mom. The battle for

equal pay began, that battle is still going on to this day. Following the second wave was the third

wave in feminism, this began around the late 1980's and continues to this day. The third wave

started in response to the slack in change, its almost as if we reach a certain point, and then stop

striving for anything more. Feminism is still alive and well.

I am a feminist. I am a feminist because I believe that everyone deserves a equal shot.

No matter, who you are or what you believe, there are certain rights, that should not be denied

to anyone. More than a feminist, I believe I am a humanist.


Sources:

The Feminism video (we watched in class)

Iron Clawed Angles (HBO film)

The F word by Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner

"Understanding the other sister: The case of Arab feminism" by Susan Muaddi Darraj

5 Readings Paper

Christina Escamilla

May 12, 2009

Women’s studies

Final Paper- 5 reading Analysis

Choosing five readings was pretty difficult; I’ve enjoyed most of the readings. The readings that I decided on are:

· White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack by Peggy McIntosh

· Understanding the other sister: The case of Arab feminism by Susan Muaddi Darraj

· All the Women are white, All the Blacks are men, But some of us are brave: Black Women’s studies by: Patricia Bell Scott and Barbara Smith

· Diasporic Asian Feminism: Bridging Ties by: Anh Hua

· The Eternal Feminine: Rosario Castellanos

I choose these readings because not only were they my favorite to read, but I also felt that I could relate them to my life. These readings are all connected by the theme of race and ethnic identity. Every single reading exposes some sort of hidden misconception of an ethnic minority.

The Importance of these readings cannot be under estimated. They are related to Women’s Studies class because they incorporate most, if not all of our material. In women’s studies we have repeatedly discussed how race affects our perception of an individual. In the book “The color purple”, when the young girl is trying to leave her father he yells at her, “You’re dumb, your black, and you’re a woman!” This statement combines all the negative stereotypes that can hold a woman back. History has shown us, that women in general are held back, are judged more harshly, than men. First men received the right to vote, following men were black men, and after black men came the right for women to vote in 1920. The 19^th amendment came with much criticism. Many men thought that when you gave women the right to vote, you lost some control over them. After women won the right to vote, the feminist movement died down a bit. During the 60’s the feminist movement was re-born with the second wave. Where women were fighting against being a stay at home mother, and were fighting for equality in other areas. During this period, women of certain races split off to form their own groups and organizations. The African American women, as well as the Asian, and Hispanic, realized their plight was completely different than the average white women. Normally women that are not white have to work twice as hard to be recognized as equal. White women were looked upon as almost equal with the man.

Race is still a relevant issue facing women today. My argument is that race will continue to be an issue as long as misconceptions and stereotypes are perpetuated by the media and daily lives of the human race. Women are sub-human, below the man. This alone puts them at a disadvantage, but when you combine the fact that a woman can also be a minority race; things just get harder from there. The judgments for minority can be harsh, added to the fact that you’re a woman. Blacks are loud, Hispanics are lazy, Asians are weird, these common misconceptions and generalizations can greatly harm a woman looking to advance her career.

Each author has their own take on these issues. I will explore their theories and interpret their reasoning. In “Diasporic Asian Feminism: Bridging Ties” Anh Hua, tries to explain why Asian Americans need to re-align themselves with African Americans. “During the civil rights movement in the 1960’s and 1970’s, Asian American cultural politics and activism were inspired and motivated by the Black Power movement and the anti-colonial struggles.” (Hua, 2) Hua’s thesis is how connected Blacks and Asians are in the fight for equality. She shows her reasoning by exploring five different areas of focus: diaspora, memory, home, identity, and cultural trauma. Peggy McIntosh wrote “White Privilege and Male Privilege: A Personal Account of Coming to See Correspondences’ Through Work in Women’s Studies" In this essay McIntosh elaborates on all the ways that white people are over privileged in life. She collaborates this thesis with 46 ordinary ways in which she has experienced white privilege. (Beck, 57) Some of my favorites from her list are:

#21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.

#23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

#39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.

Those were just a few from her list that I found true for me as well. In “All the Women are White, All the Blacks are Men, But Some of Us are Brave: Black Women’s Studies" by Gloria T. Hull and Barbara Smith, I found that the authors were tracing back the history of African American’s learning as well as, showing their future in politics and academics as well. The writers backed up their theories of advancement by giving key ways in which the movement must change in order to reach equality. “Only a feminist, pro-woman perspective that acknowledges the reality of sexual oppression of race and class, will make Black women’s studies the transformer of consciousness it needs to be” (Hull Smith, 24) This statement identifies one of things that need to change in order for Black women’s studies to be a better learning tool for students and others. Susan Muaddi Darraj wrote “Understanding the other sister: The case of Arab feminism”, in this essay Darraj focuses on the misperception of Arab women. A lot of western women have these awful ideas of what it means to be an Arab woman; most of these ideals are presented by the media. Darraj tries to re-wire the western mind, and gives her thesis by defining Arab feminism. She backs up her findings by showing different feminists and what they are currently doing. She also doesn’t shy from showing the pros and cons to Arab feminism. In “The Eternal Feminine” by Rosario Castellanos, she gives her ideas of what it means to be a woman in an unordinary format. She writes a play, in each of the scenes the main character is faced with problems and dilemmas that are directly related to problems not only in feminism, but in the daily lives of Hispanic women. Castellanos’ thesis seems to be the acknowledgment of these disadvantages against women. She backs up her thesis by going into the future in her play and giving a slightly alarming ending by having the main character lead a group of strong intellectual women in discussion.

I feel that these readings when read together help to create the whole picture of what needs to be done in order to change racial ideologies. In my conclusion, I have found that my own racial stereotypes need to be erased in order for me to accurately access the problem. These readings have enlightened me to the secret things, and obvious things that add to the problems of racial injustice. I wonder if these inequalities will ever disappear. These readings will have a huge impact on my career and future. I am planning on joining the peace corp, and also plan on working for a non-profit organization that focuses on women. I believe that I can take this information and use it for a foundation of beliefs. I know that when I am in foreign countries, I will be able to notice and acknowledge unfair treatment a lot easier.

· Sources: White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack by Peggy McIntosh

· Understanding the other sister: The case of Arab feminism by Susan Muaddi Darraj

· All the Women are white, All the Blacks are men, But some of us are brave: Black Women’s studies by: Patricia Bell Scott and Barbara Smith

· Diasporic Asian Feminism: Bridging Ties by: Anh Hua

· The Eternal Feminine: Rosario Castellanos

Technology

Call me. Lets do lunch, face to face.

Girls with big bellies.

Ah, teen pregnancy. Such a big issue. Honestly, its not just teen pregnancy, but pregnancy in general. Its seems as if, any girl from a hippie to a PhD graduate just goes nuts for children. Why?

Why in this economy, would you have a child if you are not:
1)Emotionally Stable
2)Financially stable
3) Physically Stable

Now, these are just my recommendations before having a kid, I'm not an expert or anything. When it comes down to it, I'm just tired of hearing of young girls expecting kids, or even not young girls, but maybe early twenties, and they're still fucking excited, like its a puppy. Its a child. A child!
A child that you will have full responsibility for. I'm not promoting abortions here, I'm promoting safe sex. I'm talking about, those girls who are smart, independent, but are still using the "pull-out method".....I'm calling you out!
Go to the health clinic! I have been receiving free birth control for about 7 years, thank you government! Its not scary, its not weird, its natural, and RESPONSIBLE.

Norman Health Department: 405-321-4048
(Go ahead and get tested while your at it. Boys, do the same, please!!!)

How was the quality of your night?

How was the quality of your night? Most people forget about quality. Having good quality clothes, good quality values...
Well, the quality of tonight was suburb. Excellent, I would say. I went to the Norman north prom to take pictures with party pic, that was fun.....sorta. I mean if your idea of fun is hanging around Youngins, grinding on each other.... ewwwww. Granted I loved my prom. I dressed up and my then boyfriend had a major Mohawk, so it was kinda cool, in that I'm young and naive type of way. But I definitely didn't regret going.

Awww....she wore flip flops and they match.

Anyways, afterward B picked me up and we went to a party on Castro street. That party was a good one. B and I are really big party snobs. Its sad but true, we've left parties after one minute of arriving before, because we've deemed it uncool. There were some cute boys at that party. But I feel like boys don't talk to strange girls anymore. Its like they need to be introduced to them, before they can talk to them. Or maybe thats just me, and boys just don't want to talk to me. :( ha. Anyways, we had some fun there, drank our champagne out of the bottle. Glasses, we don't need no stinkin glasses!





I'm totally the girl in this movie......



Then we went to the hippie house, there was a 60's dance party, there were only about 15 or so people at this one, and while I was dancing....I fell. I lost balance, and fell right on my booty. It was totally embarrassing. I just got up and laughed my ass off, because of course, only I would fall on my ass. Haha.

Conversation between me and B after leaving H.H.

B: So don't take this the wrong way....
Me: What?
B: you know i used to think you were so cool, like that girl christina, man i want to be her friend.
Me: aww, thats sweet.
B: then, i started hanging out with you, and I realized, you fall, you fall a lot.
Me: (silence...then laughter)
B: no, i mean....hahahahaha

Everyday I smile still...

I'm getting ready to take pictures at SKY BAR for party pics, and I have to leave in minus 15 min, and no, I'm not ready. But still, I'm inclined to post a wonderful video. Enjoy.




Write me poems. Please.